I am in the process of de-friending people on facebook. When facebook first started out, I actually tried to sign up, only to be told during the signup process that I was too old. Too old at 27! Originally, the site was designed for college students, so in order to get an account I had to go back to school, by which time the site was opened to anyone, regardless of age.

At first, I added my closest friends (most of my family are decidedly non-fb people). Then it was the people from my past I’d lost contact with. Then it was the people I worked with or went to school with. Then those I’d met at a youth councils or workshop or retreat. Then it was those who knew me from so-and-so, or who’d heard a song, or knew someone that knew my parents or siblings. For a while, I was just accepting anybody. I’m almost up to 2,000 friends now. But, like I said, I’m in the process of de-friending people that aren’t… well, aren’t really friends.

It’s amusing to me that, in this age of tech, we’re still using the same words to describe our associations online – fans, followers, friends. The weird thing is that those associations aren’t even just a mirror of real-world relationships. We actually now talk in virtual reality using real-world language (which only makes sense). “Are we friends on facebook?” “Are you following me on Twitter?” “Are you a “fan” of Marty Mikles – he’s so dreamy!”

I’ve been thinking a lot about these words, especially as they relate to Jesus. He had loads of fans, several followers, but not too many friends.

The Fans – Matthew 21:7-9
They brought the donkey and the colt, placed their cloaks on them, and Jesus sat on them. A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted,
“Hosanna to the Son of David!”
“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”
“Hosanna in the highest!”

These guys were fans of Jesus. Imagining the scene, we can picture a show of hero-worship that might put a U2 concert to shame. Fans are fickle though. A couple of bad performances and you get written off as either as has-been or might-have-been. Jesus had a ton of fans before popular opinion shifted – and we all know how that turned out.

The Followers – John 6:1-2
Some time after this, Jesus crossed to the far shore of the Sea of Galilee … and a great crowd of people followed him because they saw the miraculous signs he had performed on the sick.

Followers of Jesus loved being around Him. They loved watching Him do His thing, healing people, feeding them, telling wonderful stories that made their ears tingle and their hearts stir. What a wonderful Person to be around! … But, as with many other terms, Jesus redefines what it means to truly follow: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.“

The Friends – John 15:9:17
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other.“

Following the analogy of the Vine and the branches, Jesus speaks here in terms of friendship and love. Friends of Jesus. A relationship that is closer and more intimate than any other. A relationship that manifests itself in obedience to Jesus’ commands, a knowledge of the Father’s heart, and what Paul later calls the fruit of the Spirit.

The progression of our relationship to Jesus follows these three stages of fan, follower and friend. Will we join the crowds on Sunday and offer lipservice to the King, only to deny Him by our lives? Will we merely follow Him for our own personal benefit – will we, like those followers on the Sea of Galilee, “turn back and no longer follow” when Jesus speaks a hard word to us?

Or will we be those few that share His burden and joy, His laughter and hidden sorrows, His mindset and devotion to the Father’s will? Can He really call us friends?

In Matthew 7, Jesus again links obedience to friendship, this time alluding to the judgment at the end of the world. How sad it will be on that ‘day’ for those who thought they were Jesus’ friends because they prophesied in His name or drove out demons or performed miracles or wore t-shirts with His name on them or held a prayer meeting or started a new ministry or whatever… To many of those people Jesus will say, “Depart from me – I never knew you.“

Truly, that would be the ultimate de-friending.