I grew up playing piano in my parents churches for offertories and eventually accompanying congregational singing. Moderately traditional churches. I don’t remember hearing the term “leading worship” until around the time I entered Bible college in ‘97. Because I played piano and sang a little and went to a relatively small school, I was eventually asked to “lead worship” for weekday morning chapel services in the gym. I had no idea what I was doing. I used to skip my first period class and pray under the bleachers that I’d get through the set without overly messing up.

Anyway…

I have learned a lot about myself over the past decade or so “leading worship” and preparing to “lead worship”. I’ve learned that the way I feel about how good or bad a set was isn’t always a good barometer of how good or bad a set actually was. I’ve learned that the more I plan, the more God leads me in new directions, which means both more practice and more trust. I’ve learned that trying to re-create former experiences generally leads to manipulation. I’ve learned there is no substitute for authenticity. Unless you know Jesus, you can’t really sing about Him in any kind of way that is convincing, at least not for others who know Him…

There is a criticism that is often leveled at charismatic worshippers, worship leaders and worship songwriters alike, especially as it relates to intimate songs. You know, the “Jesus is my boyfriend” type songs. I understand the criticism. And I admit to times that “worship” has really been about meeting my own emotional (sometimes childish) needs. I understand the desire for balance and the imperative outward nature of faith and love – they must have hands and feet. I’d like to speak to the other side of the equation though…

“Social justice” is a buzzword in the Christian community these days – has been for the last several years, I suppose. It is refreshing. There’s been too much introspection and not enough caring for the needs of others in my own life and in the life of much of the wider Church. Praise God. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the last conversation recorded between Jesus and Peter ends with Jesus telling Peter to “feed my sheep” if he really loves Him. It’s a reminder to us that there is much more to loving God than just feeling good about Him.

On the other hand, doing good things doesn’t necessarily show you know God either. Instead, we’re told in John 15 that the only way to bear fruit, real fruit that lasts, is to be IN Jesus. That “IN” Jesus is much more than just about believing that Christ died for us and rose again. It’s about being in intimate relational fellowship with Him. I know it might be a bit of a stretch, but is it possible that those that complain about the “shallow” worship songs, might actually have intimacy issues? Let me know what you think and I’ll elaborate in the next post.

I relaxed on the couch this Sunday afternoon as my oldest was drawing with chalk on the concrete in the back of our house. It wasn’t until later in the day that I saw the drawings and told Samuel how proud I was of him. “It’s you, Daddy!” Well, that warranted another look and a snapshot. I’ve been looking at the picture for a while now and it just makes me smile.

“[The Son] is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.” – Colossians 1:15

My friend Pete sent me a message today about the possibility of a piano for free. I’ve been half-heartedly looking for one. Can’t really afford a proper one at the moment, but I’m interested in getting something semi-decent for Samuel to start learning on if he wants. Anyway, Pete did some research for me and found the following info about the brand of the piano, which I found very amusing:

Out of 7300 brand name pianos produced, Currier is considered second from the bottom in quality. Only one other piano ever made (Kincaid), is considered worse in touch, tone, serviceability and musical enjoyment … I normally don’t relay such information about an individual piano, but these pianos are considered among musicians and technicians as P. S. O.’s. (Piano shaped objects) The scaling and design does not allow for anything close to a “good tuning” and some pieces simply can not be performed on these pianos because of the remedial actions they have. (found here)

Anyway, it reminds me of the 3 little words you see in the top right hand corner of this blog, a phrase I’ve taken as my life motto – “Esse Quam Videri”. It’s Latin for “to be rather than to seem to be”. It’s the motto of the state where I was born (North Carolina – go Tarheels!). It’s the motto of my alma mater. For me personally, it’s a call to integrity and excellence as a musician and a follower of Jesus I don’t wanna just appear or sound to some to be a good-enough musician – I want to actually be one. More importantly, I don’t want to be a J.S.O. (a Jesus-shaped object); I want to have the authenticity – all the inner parts and mechanisms, I guess you could say – of someone whose life is tuned by God.